It’s that time of the year again when #dadjokes are most retweeted, old photos of fathers holding their babies for the first time are being posted on Facebook or Instagram. But to some, well, it’s the time where they’re probably remembering that first person who walked out on them and pretending to be happy while greeting a cheery “Happy Father’s Day” to someone who is not really their father. I’m one of those people, I guess.
I should really be doing my homework right now but all these “father’s day” posts are giving me a lot of feels. It’s no secret that my dad left us before. We still talk, but not as much as we used to. I think we’re drifting apart. It’s sad, really, because I do want to hang out with him. I’d even like to meet his girlfriend, if given a chance. I’d like to know more about him, try the things he likes to do, or just plain out spend time with him. But it’s, like, he doesn’t even miss us at all. Like an asshole boyfriend, he doesn’t think of contacting me or my brother first (he’s a father, my dad, he’s supposed to care—much more than a boyfriend would). He’s always online, always posting pictures of his girlfriend, he’s always spending his money on her. Sometimes, I have this urge to comment “dad, we exist” or if I’m feeling kind, just a “hi dad, miss you” just to remind him that we are his responsibility, too.
When I write about him, I always complain about how he’s not supporting us financially, and how my mom, as well as our relatives from her side, is struggling to do his job. But sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it, I do get jealous of people who have a complete family. There are times that I wonder, “what would it be like to live with my dad?” Then, I imagine all these scenes of dads getting mad with their daughters when caught with a guy or being strict about the curfew or embarrassing her in front of her friends or making her laugh with his lame dad jokes—I crave to experience these father-daughter moments, too. I haven’t danced with my father yet, I can’t even relate to that song.
It’s still sad, you know. Even though there were a lot of people who filled that father-shaped void in my life, I know it’s not the same with having your dad by your side 24/7. So, I hope, to all of those kids out there with amazing fathers, please do appreciate them and stop whining about how annoying they are, because some kids long for that kind of attention.
To all the fathers out there: Love your kids. Value your kids. Show them they’re special. Don’t make them feel like they’re a mistake. It wasn’t their fault that they were born in the first place, anyway. If you already did that one mistake of leaving them, at least make them feel you still care, even just as a friend. Don’t treat them like strangers. But if you didn’t leave your kid/s, then I salute you (unless you’re being a shitty dad to them, then never mind that). Also, remember that every decision you make will affect your kids. Think about them. But if you’re a really amazing dad: Stay that way, thank you so much for existing. You don’t know how many people crave for your kind.
To all the males out there: If you’re not ready to become a father, don’t do it. If you’re not sure of that woman yet, don’t marry her and make her pregnant then leave her with the kids—seriously, what the hell? Do you know how expensive and tiring raising a baby is? Don’t be an ass, please. But if the baby’s already there and you’re still not ready then be ready. Remember that you did that so do your part—be a father. Think of this also: if you think you’re not ready, do you think the girl is? She’s going to have to carry the baby in her womb for nine months then undergo a painful labor. Both of your lives are going to change, but who’s going to suffer the most? Right? Right.
To all the guys who accepted the children of the girls they loved even if it wasn’t theirs, to the uncles and grandfathers and other relatives or friends who have been helping single moms ever since: Thank you, we owe you our lives, really. We weren’t your responsibility but you took us in. Thanks for making it a bit easier for our mothers. We appreciate you greatly.
To the single dads: I know you also exist although, I don’t know many of you. I salute you for being a superdad. Being a man doesn’t make raising kids alone easier. Thanks for staying even if you could have just left when your wife/partner left. You didn’t, you stayed with the kid/s. Thank you. I really don’t know what else to say but I know you deserve as much appreciation as the single moms get.
And of course, to all the single moms out there: YOU’RE THE BEST. Thank you so much for not giving up even when it was so hard. Thank you for everything. You deserve so much better than what the world could ever offer. One day, the kids you raised alone will show you how grateful they are for everything you did. Thank you for playing both parts.
To all the kids out there like me: Guys, stay strong. Let’s do it for the ones who raised us. Let’s show them how much we owe them. What our fathers did to us doesn’t dictate our future or our life. When I was old enough to understand that dad left, I felt as if I wasn’t enough to make him stay. I felt like that for so long, but no one knew that I felt it deep down. But it was wrong. I realized that we couldn’t have done anything to change what happened. But it’s never our fault. Never. We deserve better. You all deserve better, loves. So let’s be happy, okay?
Happy Father’s Day, everyone!